Gaslighting
You’ve probably heard the term gaslighting over the past few years as mental health is coming to the forefront both in popular culture and in public forums. But what exactly is gaslighting and how should one respond to it within relationships?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the perpetrator causes the victim to question their own emotions and experiences. Gaslighting can show up in many different forms including minimization, diversionary tactics, stonewalling, condescension, denial, and stereotyping. It is important to note that challenging someone or disagreeing with them does not necessarily constitute gaslighting. Gaslighting in and of itself must be repetitive and intentional behavior of psychological manipulation expressly for the perpetrator’s gain.
What are some signs that you may be experiencing gaslighting on a regular basis? If you find yourself lacking confidence, assuming that you are too sensitive, questioning your decision making, hiding your emotions, and/or not standing up for yourself, you may be experiencing emotional abuse through gaslighting tactics. Feeling that your partner, friend, family member, or coworker is unwilling to compromise, shuts down frequently, does not take you seriously, is not validating, and/or is unsympathetic to your emotions are additional potential signs of frequent gaslighting.
So what can be done about gaslighting? First and foremost, it is important to stand up for yourself within relationships where there is gaslighting. Do not allow someone to minimize your emotions. Stick to the reality of your experiences. Question perspectives that you do not agree with. Set boundaries around your needs and expectations. Secondly, take space in relationships where there is consistent gaslighting as needed. Make sure to engage in positive self care as well in order to maintain a healthy mindset. Lastly, engage others as appropriate. Utilize outside supports that are unbiased to assist you with navigating relational roadblocks. Gain perspectives outside of your relationship. Educate yourself on potential self help avenues for relational communication issues.
Gaslighting is a serious relational problem that can appear in romantic relationships, friendships, family units, and/or professional relationships. This form of emotional manipulation can have detrimental effects not only on relationships as a whole, but also on individual mental health and feelings of self worth. If you feel that you are a victim of gaslighting within any relationship, it is important to seek professional guidance as soon as possible to prevent further psychological or relational damage.
