Values Vs Goals

This time of year it is common for people to set new goals for themselves through new years resolutions in an effort to make long term changes in their lives.  Unfortunately, most new years resolutions fail within the first month of the new year.  The simple answer to why new years resolutions fail so often is because people set goals for themselves that are too rigid or do not align with their core values, and so they may quickly lose the drive needed to continue to pursue their resolutions past the first few weeks.

The distinction between values and goals come up often in sessions with clients who feel that they lack motivation or purpose in their lives and feel unable to make long term sustained change.  Old habits and ruts can become particularly painful for people who do feel stuck at this time of year when phrases such as “new year new me” are being touted as a means for change, especially when those same people have struggled with change in the past.  Goals, while good motivators in the short term, do not translate into long term change because goals always have an end date once they have been met.  Values, on the other hand, create a more open path for lifestyle changes that will stick around indefinitely because values inform our actions based upon more set moral standards for how we want to live our lives day to day.

So what is an example of the difference between a goal and a value?  Most new years resolutions are goals and a common new year’s resolution is to lose weight.  Someone who wants to lose weight may set a goal for themselves to go to the gym four days a week and may set another goal to lose 40 pounds.  The timing goal is problematic because the first week this person misses the gym one scheduled day, it will be difficult for them to get back on track.  Additionally, even if they do follow through with their set schedule, once they achieve their weight loss goal of 40 pounds, then what?  More than likely they will stop working out and may even regain the weight they lost and have to start all over again.  However, a different way of framing this goal in terms of values would be for this person to state that they would like to live a more active lifestyle, which includes exercise on a fairly regular basis.  As long as this person achieves being more active during this year than the last year, they are living by their value to be more active overall and are more likely to continue having motivation to remain active in whatever capacity makes sense for their regular life as an ongoing behavioral change.

Remember, goals in and of themselves are not ultimately bad, but should be set in tandem with valued actions to increase feelings of success and fulfillment.  Living a more values driven lifestyle should be the overarching goal for anyone seeking to make changes in their lives within the new year.  Happy new year!