Supporting Eating Disorder Recovery

Disordered eating has become a somewhat taboo subject in our society, despite the fact that the National Eating Disorders Association estimates that about 10 percent of all Americans will experience disordered eating patterns at some point during their lifetime.  With much of our fall and winter holidays centered around family gatherings and food, the holiday season can be a difficult time for someone who is recovering from an eating disorder.  So how can family members best support someone who is in active disordered eating recovery during the holiday season?

First, do not comment on how much or how little someone is eating.  People in eating disorder recovery are often taught to pay attention to bodily cues for hunger, so when an outsider comments on how much someone is eating it can throw off the person’s ability to monitor their own hunger cues.  This is also somewhat rude as well and can make someone feel very self conscious, which can worsen eating patterns.

Secondly, do not comment on what is being eaten or term food as “good” or “bad”.  In eating disorder recovery, people are taught that no food is “good” or “bad”, but instead that food exists to nourish our bodies.  A concept called intuitive eating is also taught, which does not encourage the restriction of food, but instead the conscious eating of all foods to the extent that those foods make the body and mind feel satisfied and well.  

Thirdly, do not offer to make someone’s plate for them.  People in eating disorder recovery are often taught to cook for themselves and to plate their own food.  This assists them with normalizing food intake, and should not be taken away from them.  Do, however, eat with your family member as this aids in the normalization of food and the eating process.

Lastly, never comment on someone’s body.  This is typically the worst thing that can be done to someone in eating disorder recovery, as it tends to worsen restriction and self esteem.  Instead, compliment your family member on things about them that are unrelated to their appearance, like a new job they got or something new they did with their house.

Figuring out how to support someone in eating disorder recovery can be challenging during the holiday season.  If you still struggle to understand eating disorders and what you can do to help, visit the website for the National Eating Disorders Association, which has several good resources for individuals and families alike.  Happy Holidays!