Ghosting
Spooky season is finally here! The air outside is crisp and chilly. The days are getting shorter. Leaves are starting to change colors. Fall is many people’s favorite season and for good reason. However, one scary thing I think most people can agree that they would rather avoid during this and really any season is ghosting.
What is ghosting? Ghosting is a relatively new term borrowed primarily from online dating experiences that refers to the practice of cutting off someone who you have been communicating with on a fairly regular basis with no explanation. However, ghosting also extends outside of the realm of dating and can also be used to refer to friendships, family relationships, or professional relationships as well.
Why do people engage in the practice of ghosting? Typically speaking people ghost other people because they do not want to deal with an uncomfortable interaction and would rather take the easy way out of completely cutting off communication rather than confronting the issues that they are having with the person they are ghosting. This is done most often within the context of online dating but can also happen in longer standing relationships as well.
What should you keep in mind when you are the victim of ghosting? First and foremost, do not take ghosting personally. Most of the time, ghosting behaviors are a reflection of the other person’s poor interpersonal skills rather than an indication that something is wrong with you. Also, learn to accept the fact that you may never get an answer from the other person, even if you do attempt to reach out to them to see what went wrong. This obviously creates discomfort, but it is better to walk away from a situation where you are clearly being ghosted rather than to continue to try to get in contact with someone who does not want to engage with you.
What is a better way to handle difficult conversations rather than ghosting someone? Just tell the truth, even if it’s hard! Ultimately, it is better for the person on the other end to be given the chance at an open dialogue about a situation that involves them, even if your feelings are difficult for them to accept. Confronting uncomfortable situations is not fun, but typically leads to better closure for both parties involved than ghosting does.
Healthy communication is important within the context of any relationship, and unfortunately the unhealthy practice of ghosting undermines the ability to create open conversation in any relationship. If you find yourself ghosting others regularly, it is important to work on your ability to have hard conversations. If you frequently find yourself personalizing ghosting you’ve experienced, it may be beneficial to work on improving your overall self worth. Remember that all healthy relationships involve some conflict, and it is important to learn how to approach conflict effectively, rather than to avoid it.
